Wow! I made my first tinctures, after calling on all to support and guide me in a wonderful blessing ceremony for my new undertaking. That night I dreamed of being ushered into the back room of an herbalists’s store, where the remedies were made. It was magical and I was like a kid in a candy store. It was a room as huge as it was old. Work stations were everywhere with broths cooking, pots boiling, steam rising and the deep dark aroma of herb mixtures. The owner talked with me and then said I could look around and ask questions. I wanted to know the secrets. I remember so strongly wanting to know that. It was the strength of the wanting that woke me.
The next night I was in a discussion with some someones — which herb should be the mother tonic? Which the mother sedative? We went back and forth and opinions flew. I remember none of it, but when I woke I knew which would be each.
Then last night, or rather in the early hours of the morning I dreamed of the wee people. The faery folk. Never had I had a sleeping dream of them. What roused me was the plight of a faery, a man. Somehow he wasn’t an elf, he was a faery, though without wings. He was dressed neatly in a suit and tie, but some idiot had put him in a bottle and then left. His plight was that he had to pee and couldn’t get out. Of course I helped him, but was astounded that anyone could be so thoughtless. I was also surprised at just how tiny he was. I knew they were small, but seeing it up close was still a surprise.
Dreams of business and the business of dreams merge seamlessly as my body, mind, spirit mend. It’s all part of the same healing, the yummy goody I have craved.
It’s taking shape. Each day brings new insights. Today for example I realized how much I don’t know. I realized how I can look at things as challenges, hurdles, or exits. For example. I really hate forms, bureaucracy, red tape of all kinds. Even rather harmless ones. I hate to admit it, but I actually lost a lot of scholarship money in college because I procrastinated looking at the forms until the deadline had passed. Even that didn’t teach me to be like Nike — and just do it.
Nevertheless, driven by a need to know and desire to succeed today I overcame my tendency to postpone this until approximately the year 2050. I ventured into the quintessential beaurocracy — the County Health Department. I needed to know what would come at me if I were to sell herbs at the local farmer’s market. Herbs. Big gray area. Instead of dealing with the County’s beaurocracy, bad enough… I get to deal with the state dept. of ag. Must be karma for missing the damn deadlines.
Anyway, I heard the familiar refrain in my head. The old song and dance. I can’t do this. It’s going to cost too much, they’re going to want things I won’t know, knowledge I can’t provide and yada yada yada.
Then another refrain popped in and actually booted the old familiar one out. I can do this. Others have done it and survived. People who barely speak English managed it. People who brought a lot less to the table have done it. More than that. I realized this wasn’t meant to put me out of business before I even started. It was meant to set guidelines. And that would be okay. I’d manage. Hell, I might even get some support out of it.
I think my business partner worked his magic because I realized I was bigger than the sum of my fears and procrastinations. So, like I said the same event can be felt and interpreted in so many ways. This time the challenge transformed into a small step; the hurdle was a little puddle I could jump, and the exit well tha exit became an entrance. What made the difference was my passion. Everything else crumbled in the face of it. It was powerful enough to carry me with all my baggage over the threshhold and right through the door.